The Chainz: Because Regular Databases Are For Quitters
We Built Our Own Blockchain (Yes, Really)
After a late-night binge of blockchain documentaries and too much caffeine, we asked ourselves: "Why use a simple, efficient database when we could build an unnecessarily complex blockchain just for trading cards?" The answer was obvious: because we could.
So we fired up our keyboards, ignored all reasonable advice, and created The Chainz - a blockchain so exclusive, it only tracks cards graded by FOTTR. It's like Bitcoin, but instead of being worth something, it just tells you which wallet address owns that pristine graded card you've been eyeing.
Features of Our Blockchain
Core Technology
- Immutable Ledger: We literally can't figure out how to edit it
- Proof of Authority: There's only one node - ours - so we validate everything
- Smart Contracts: They're not that smart, but they try their best
- Gas Fees: So low they're basically free (because nobody uses it)
- 51% Attack Resistance: There's only like 12 of us, so good luck
- Mining Rewards: Exactly 0 FOTTR tokens (they're worthless anyway)
- Transaction Finality: In mere minutes (or hours, depending on if we are awake)
Get Your FOTTR Coin Wallet!
That's right, we have our own cryptocurrency! FOTTR Coin - it's like regular Ethereum, except completely worthless outside our ecosystem and possibly inside it too!
Why do you need FOTTR Coin? You need it to transfer our revolutionary Fungible Non-Tokens (FNTs) between wallets! Without FOTTR Coin, your FNTs are stuck forever in your wallet, like that gym membership you never use but can't cancel.
Connect Your Wallet to Our Blockchain
RPC Server: https://blockchainz.fottrcard.com
Chain ID: 7079848482
Point your MetaMask, Rainbow, or whatever wallet you're using to our RPC endpoint. It'll generate your wallet address and you'll be ready to receive worthless tokens! We think it works with most Ethereum-compatible wallets, but honestly we've only tested it with MetaMask and even that was questionable.
The FOTTR Faucet
Free FOTTR Coin Daily
Because we're generous stewards of the chainz, we built a faucet where you can get FREE FOTTR Coin! Why? Because what good is a worthless cryptocurrency if you can't give it away for free?
The faucet dispenses an incredibly small amount of FOTTR Coin every 24 hours - just enough to cover the gas fees for transferring FNTs (Fungible Non-Tokens). It's the bare minimum to keep the ecosystem running, like giving someone exactly one drop of water in the desert.
* No actual value. Cannot be exchanged for real money, goods, services, or self-respect.
Blockchain Statistics (Proving It Has No Value)
Live Network Stats
- Current Value: $0.00000000 (we added more zeros to be sure)
- Market Cap: Less than the lint in your pocket
- 24h Trading Volume: 0 (same as yesterday, and tomorrow)
- All-Time High: Still worthless
- Active Nodes: One way overpriced Amazon EC2 box
- Total Invested by VCs: $0 (they have standards, apparently)
- Number of People Who Care: 3 (and 2 are bots)
Future Roadmap
- Figure out what the blockchain actually does
- Add more buzzwords to the whitepaper
- Implement "DeFi" (we'll figure out what that means later)
- Moon? (Narrator: They will not moon)
- Pivot to AI blockchain (it's trendy)
- Realize we've been running a MongoDB this whole time