Certification Levels

Because even questionable standards need questionable enforcers

OG Master Slabber

The ultimate honor. The sacred few. The chosen ones. These ancient beings transcended mortal authentication to become legends. Only an OG can anoint another OG—it's like the Highlander, but with trading cards and worse fashion sense. This is the pinnacle of human achievement (we use that term loosely).

  • Founding member who survived the great slabbing wars
  • Can authenticate cards blindfolded (we've tested this)
  • Their word is law (even when they're wrong)
  • Possesses the sacred knowledge of the Token Ring

Master Slabber

Almost as good as an OG, but without the cool origin story. These folks have somehow convinced us they know what they're doing. They're like substitute teachers—they have authority, but everyone knows they're not the real deal.

  • Has slabbed enough cards to build a small house
  • Pretends to understand our grading system
  • Occasionally right about things
  • Can spell "authentication" correctly 3 out of 5 times

Certified Slabber

We let them touch cards sometimes. They've passed our rigorous certification process (which mostly involves not eating the cards and knowing which side is up). They're enthusiastic, which counts for something, right?

  • Completed our 15-minute training video (at 2x speed)
  • Owns at least one trading card
  • Can differentiate between a card and a sandwich
  • Promises to try really hard

Think You've Got What It Takes?

Spoiler alert: You probably don't. But we admire your misplaced confidence!

View Our Motley Crew of "Experts"